Making friends can be hard
Making friends can be hard
But social media was a winner for me
Hello, how has your week been?
I’m writing to you today from Ramsgate, sitting by a window with the sunshine pouring in, its warmth is blissful ‘though an early morning trip to the park with Gertie was appropriately autumnal in air temperature!
I’m here to celebrate the 50th birthday of a friend. We met online which no longer sounds as odd as it did just a few years ago; it was during the pandemic and we both attended a series of zoom ‘productivity hours’ (or something similar) hosted by a photographer. We enjoyed the accountability of working alongside others and arranged to continue our own online meetings, these fortnightly hours began fairly productively, but quickly morphed into more of a chat as we got to know each other.
We met in London in person a few months later and I remember feeling surprised that we had only known each other a matter of months rather than years. That same trip to London was also when I met Eve Milner for the first time in real life, Eve and I also met online and spent a year collaborating on a photography project together - a series of diptychs we called Two Women, 120 Miles, 120 Years (120 being the number of miles separating us and also our combined ages). You can see the whole project on our Instagram account here if you’re interested.
Making friends as we get older isn’t that simple is it? It’s not like being at school, college or uni where you are automatically within a group of similar aged people from the same area; or at work where the amount of time spent together and the necessary teamwork and communication means you begin to identify like minded souls; or indeed if you are a parent then baby groups, nurseries and school gates are all good meeting places for potential companions. My own experience, having returned to the UK nearly 10 years ago after many years of moving around overseas, is that it is difficult to meet new people, or to break into friendship groups that have been established through through the school/uni/work/children route. I know I am not the only one to have found repatriation more difficult than all the expat moves I’ve experienced, it can be a challenging and lonely process for sure.
As part of her weekend of 50th birthday celebration my friend asked each of us to write a short note about how we met, and it was in doing so that I reflected upon just how many wonderful friends I have made online over the past few years. For all its many ills social media opened up a whole new world for me, introducing me to ways to explore my creativity that I had never encountered in real life and connecting me with others whose interests collided with my own. I know many people no longer enjoy Instagram, and it’s certainly changed considerably over the years, but I remain immensely grateful to it for what it has added to my life. This of course is not to say that I don’t ever feel overwhelmed and ‘less than’ if I spend too much time on the platform, but the friendships I’ve made (and the odd otter/cat video that make me laugh) most definitely outweigh the negatives.
In The Studio
In the short time I had in the studio this week I managed to sand and then fire a few rhubarb leaves and begin researching some glazes I’d like to try. I’m so lucky that my local pottery supplier, Hot Clay, is just 5 minutes away and have just begun stocking the raw materials required to make glazes so I’ve chosen a couple to try and am planning to get some tests done next week. Let’s see how it all works out for I remained convinced that glazing is, at least in part, a dark art of which a higher power has ultimate control!
In The Garden
It was hedge cutting week this week, so everything is looking well trimmed and less woolly around the edges, mind you after the apocalyptic rain earlier this week (I have never had a wetter dog walk than on Tuesday) and today’s sunshine, everything will carry on growing a little longer.
I finally managed to order some bulbs last weekend so am looking forward to their arrival, experience tells me I probably haven’t ordered enough for somehow they never seem to go as far as one imagines, but I note that there are lots of sales on bulbs right now and since I’ve planted tulips as late as the end of December and still enjoyed them in the spring I reassure myself I can always add some more. The only thing I forgot was some Fritillaria Meleagris (Snakes Head Fritillary) which I adore and must remember to get. Snowdrops will be planted in February-ish ‘in the green’, I think I can divide some from the far end of the garden and plant them around the wibbly yew hedges which will look good in mid winter.
The rhubarb is all but over so I’d better be sure to mulch it well and speak to it very kindly in the hope of another excellent crop this year. We do actually eat the stems in addition to my using the leaves in the studio!
Right, I’m off for a quick dunk in the sea, I don’t suppose there will be another opportunity this year so I’m just going to have to be brave and go for it! I hope you all have a happy weekend whatever you’re up to.
With love, Vx
ps. Thank you, as always, for clicking the ♥️ button which does good things for my endorphins! xx
I know what you mean about friendships, and making friends later in life. That one word, friendship, is actually so complex. I have had to accept that not all friends are forever, but nevertheless play a vital role in enriching our lives for a time.
Goodness a dunk in the sea is mightily brave Vanessa! I hope it was enjoyable... I would have taken some coaxing!
I agree with you entirely about the friends we meet online, I too feel immensely grateful for those that I met and haven't yet but still speak to from my Instagram days... It was a special place for a long time and for people like me who live so far from old friends and family, a lifeline because yes, damn, it is so hard to infiltrate an existing circle, never mind initial language barriers.
Your rhubarb leaves are super gorgeous and that hedge... I'm swooning! Happy Sunday xx