Hello, how has your week been?
Mine has been…mixed I suppose. I continue to struggle with horrible fatigue, the best way I can describe it is that feeling of being spent such as when one has sobbed and sobbed, when the hiccoughing and snorting has finished, and the tears have dried. But, it is perhaps a salutary reminder that it takes very little energy to notice the tiny, joy bringing moments and objects that surround our daily lives. It can all sound rather prosaic or twee, but simply watching and listening to the sparrows chatter, noticing the blackberries ripen in the hedge and finding enough energy to manage short walks are all things I’ve appreciated this week. Having had absolutely zero energy to contemplating writing on Friday (probably after Thursday’s shenanigans) I feel better today and am happy to get my fingers tapping on the keyboard.
Gertie
It was on a short potter to the field a few metres down the lane that Gertie had some sort of incident, or episode, on Thursday. She uncharacteristically sat down in the long grass and had to be cajoled to rejoin me, she made it a little further before sitting again and then lying. She was once more persuaded to follow me but at my side she began shaking and quickly flopped down into the grass, her eyes glassy and mouth a little open. She didn’t respond, I felt the panic rising, adder bites sprung to mind (though it would be unusual in the long, damp grass) but I could see no swelling or other evidence. For a few dreadful moments I thought she was dying in front of me; there was nobody else at home and I knew I would be unable to carry her 23kg back home alone. Not for the first time I was immensely grateful a) for a mobile phone and b) to live in a village where I could call someone just a minute away to ask if he could help me.
Long story short I got her to the vet very quickly, poor Gertie who adored the vet’s surgery as a destination while a puppy now experiences acute anxiety and on this occasion I was entirely unable to get her out of the car. The vet nurse and vet were wonderful and happily examined her in the car, then helped lift her out so we could see what might be going on. As it so often goes, there is no simple answer, a bite is unlikely but perhaps she has some spinal pain. Her anxiety induced hyperventilation, shaking, and typical sad whippet posture (tail tucked so far between her legs as to almost halve her body length!) didn’t aid proceedings and we all agreed on pain relief and a review in the morning.
While the vet did mention that Gertie might be rather sleepy after the analgesic injection she forgot to tell me that it can also cause panting, whimpering and slightly odd behaviour. Thus I spent the entire day worrying that she must have some dreadful neurological condition unfolding as she displayed dementia like behaviour, but in fact she was probably just high as a kite and not much enjoying the trip!
I am happy to report that with regular canine pain relief and gentle walks Gertie is much more herself, she will have to endure one more review with the vet on Tuesday when we’ll decide whether any further investigations are required, but for the meantime I feel reassured and relieved to have her quietly waiting by my side for the odd crust from my morning toast.
In the Garden
We’ve enjoyed some much appreciated late summer sunshine this week and I’ve happily soaked it up in various corners of the garden. As autumn approaches I’ve begun to take stock of what we’ve achieved this year, and what’s on the list for the coming few months.
The big empty border is now full of lush growth, I have many tweaks to make (def need some dahlias to pop in there next year) but I’m so pleased with what we’ve put in so far. The climbing roses are yet to get going but I’m sure they’ll get their feet down this winter and look more enthusiastic next year; the hydrangeas have established themselves so much better than I could have hoped and I know they’ll really start filling out next year, Mike has requested some alliums amongst them to hover about in spring which I think will look lovely, and since he doesn’t usually request anything plant related I think he should be rewarded! The pool border is honestly a triumph, I couldn’t be happier with how it has worked out, the verbena, grasses and gaura work beautifully together as they gently engulf the metal fencing, there’s a little dividing and redistribution to do in autumn, but otherwise I hope it will more or less look after itself. The border in front of the garden room currently looks a little naked, but the olive trees and lavender are in so once the lavender gets going it’ll look great.
I have concluded that vegetable gardening is neither my forte or my passion! Despite having the perfect beds etc for it I simply can’t keep up with caring for it all and since there are usually only 1.5 of us at home we can’t eat it either! So, next year will see a cutting garden being established, I’ll probably end up with far too many flowers but at least they’re easier to give away than courgettes.
The front lawns remain in a sorry state, but we have a plan! We have a booked a turf remover and rotavator for next week and will be sewing perennial flower seed in the hopes of establishing some tiny meadows to prettify the approach to the house. Frankly it can’t look worse than the existing mossy, weedy excuse of a lawn, will hopefully look intentional and perhaps encourage the box caterpillar eating sparrows to remain in situ.
In the Studio
I am sorry to say that I simply haven’t felt up to putting my hands on clay yet, the start of any project requires a certain amount of kneading and preparation that I just couldn’t face. However, no matter how tired my body may be my brain has a generous capacity for ideas. I have always struggled to pin down, record and explore potential projects and designs, feeling I lack the drawing skills to do so but I do know that this is exactly what a sketch book is for, and while my past is littered with abandoned, barely used sketchbooks I’ve never quite found a way to utilise them. Still, I have come across a short online course with West Dean which I think I’m going to invest in, I hope it might offer some guidance to help me pull together my ideas and act upon them. Let’s see!
Finally, this week I finished This is not a Pity Memoir by Abi Morgan, if you haven’t yet read the story of how she navigated life after finding her partner collapsed on the bathroom floor of their home, and her subsequent breast cancer diagnosis then I highly recommend this read. It’s an easily digestible, entertaining and relatable account of that period of her life - and let’s face it, could be any one of us.
With love,
Vx
So sorry to hear that Gertie has had such a tough time. Hopefully, that is all behind her now. I also hope you are starting to feel stronger now. Take care. xxx
Poor Gertie, poor you! I'm so sorry Vanessa and thank goodness for friends who will drop everything for a call of help! I do hope Gertie's check up is positive too - I'll be saying a little prayer, for you both! Sending healing hugs across the ether lovely... xx
PS As for veggie gardens, I think I may have to do the same next year... not only is there never enough time in the day to tend mine but honestly I think my green fingers are rotting!